The Gift on Valentine’s Day
The
first surprise happened
on last Valentine’s
Day by Ball
who is a
boyfriend. I just
associated with him.
We had dinner and
exercised in many
places together. He planned
activities completely and
told me about
them before Valentine’s
Day came. I knew that
we would travel
around the town
only but didn’t
know what I got
in that day.
When Valentine’s
Day came, He
picked me up
and gave a gift at
my dormitory. And
he didn’t let
me to open it in that
moment. I kelp
the gift in
my room with
doubtfulness in mind.
Then, we went
to Bic C
for having lunch
at MK restaurant,
watching a movie
and shopping until
the evening. We came
back the dormitory.
He let me to
open the
gift after he
went back his
dormitory. I hurried to
walk to my room.
While I
was looking at the gift,
I guessed that
it was a
doll or roses
certainly, because the
bag was quite
lovely. I decided
to open it.
Suddenly, I was
so surprised. Oh God!
It was a
sport dress of
Chelsea team which
is a football
club that I
love. I wished
it for a
long time. I
felt so happy
and amazed with
the gift. He knew
what I like.
It was a
question in mind.
When I
met him, I
asked him about
the gift. He
smiled and told
me that “ I see
you follow Chelsea
Football Club on
your Facebook, like wearing
a sport dress
and cheer Chelsea
team in football
competition every time. After
heard that, I turned a red
and really impressed
him. And if you are
my boyfriend, what
you give for
me?
Aew I think the sentence "The first surprise happened on last Valentine’s Day by Ball" should be"The first surprising was happened on the last Valentine's day by ball."
ตอบลบAnd I'm confused about the sentence "And he didn't let me to open it in that moment." You use wrong spelling and wrong spelling tense.
Hi Kanokrat Srisurat . I think it is interesting, and I am assuming that you want constructive criticism. Some of your sentences are overlong, you assume your readers have a certain knowledge. Your sentences also contain too much information in one sentence.
ตอบลบHi, Aew
ตอบลบYour story is interesting and your pictures make me surprise but you should check the vocabularies that "Are they correct?"
You write "The first surprise happened on last Valentine’s Day by Ball who is a boyfriend" you should write "The first surprise happened on last Valentine’s Day by Ball who is my boyfriend "
ตอบลบ